Some of the best people watching I have ever done is from behind the mic stand. Yes, I'm focusing on playing and singing but I can also see more than you think. And sometimes I don't have to be looking. The people come to me, literally.
I have been hit in the mouth with my microphone more times than I can remember. My teeth have suffered and been cracked and broken, my lip has been bloodied, and I've lost consciousness for a split second. Seriously, I collapsed, popped back up, asked my guitarist Gary where we were and then realized I didn't even know what song we were playing. He told me and we continued as if nothing had happened. (It was “Margaritaville” if you can believe it.) All because some people lose all concept of where they are on the dance floor and fall into me. It actually happens all the time. And I'm pretty sure that 10 times out of 10 alcohol is involved but whatever...
The ultimate night for me was what I like to refer to as “the couple”. You see, I had already noticed them from the moment they came in because I thought they were mother and son. I hope they were not but to this day I can neither confirm or deny.
Anyway, I believe that some pre-partying partying had occurred because they were quite ready to get down. We begin playing “Lights” by Journey. They begin their kinda slow-dancing, kinda just moving, make out session. It was oddly mesmerizing so I had to close my eyes so as not to lose focus on the song. That is me nicely saying that I had to stop watching because I was laughing. As Metallica says, sad, but true. But as my eyes are closed I suddenly feel an enormous weight hit my feet and into my knees. Ow! My mic gets slammed into me and me and my bass get slammed into my bass amp which gets slammed into the wall. It was a good thing the wall was there. My eyes fly open to find that I am pinned and trapped by the couple who have fallen onto me. Oh, did I forget to mention that their combined weight was around 500 lbs?
And here's the best part, they are still making out...on my feet. Apparently they are so messed up that they don't realize they've fallen? Ew. What can I do? Yep, I keep singing. Cause that's what you have to do when things don't go right. It's like that fish Dory in Finding Nemo except I say to myself, “just keep singing, just keep singing.” Eventually things always work themselves out.
Luckily, some friends on the dance floor have seen what has happened and pull the couple off of me. They had to stand guard in front of me until the end of the song because THEY KEPT MAKING OUT!
Thank you for joining me in this expanded definition of the famous colloquialism, “get a room”. Join me for next week's class as we cover “damn, it feels good to be a gangsta”!